Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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