Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
