I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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