Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Farmville is her only friend.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
