ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
