i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
