I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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