i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
