D3 body, D1 cock
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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