Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
