he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
