we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
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Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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