her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
