He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
