You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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