I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
