I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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