just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
