Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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