I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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