When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
