My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
