i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
