She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
