you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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