She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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