So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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