So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
