We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
