Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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