Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize