I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
