Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i think my mom watched the whole time
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
