"it" just moved
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
