I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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