this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
