It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
