I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
did i walk over a car last night?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
