idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
