I faked an abortion last night.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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