The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize