So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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