so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
PANTIES FOUND
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