All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize