no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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