dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
