think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
