Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
