Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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