i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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