she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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