Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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