Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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