ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize