I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
