I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
