can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
