I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize