Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
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He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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