My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i will never coherently bang her
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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