It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
