I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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