Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
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