at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
