nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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