Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
