I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
