It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
