whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
